Do People Use Dating Apps in The Summer?

All of my friends are picking up their dating game and I’m actually put mine down this year. I don’t know if you’ve gotten busier or it’s just me – but I don’t have time to swipe on Tinder or Bumble. And when I do have a wifi connection – and look at the possible suitors – it seems like it’s not just me. So, what is going on with dating apps- how do we find our summer time fling or our SOS?

As always, we have options:

You can step up your profile game:

I know it’s difficult, but you could change your photos (maybe lose the scarf and winter coats), update your bio with something more of substance other than “no hookups” or “brunch, dogs, and pools”.

Or you know – you could talk first. I know, it’s hard and it’s a lot more work than waiting for the other person to tell you you’re cute. But, as long as you’re not starting out with “hey there,” I think you should be fine.

You can change where you’re swiping:

While Bumble and Tinder still seem to be the most used, as I meet more couples and single girl bosses, I’ve noticed that they are searching on Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel. And honestly, I would add social media platforms like Instagram to your list. I’ve met my best friends through Instagram, and I’m not alone. Adam Soko, one of Chicago’s top foodies, met his best friend through Instagram. I think when you appreciate someone else’s work and you inspire each other, it’s probably the beginning of a great relationship.

I did a recent poll on my Instagram stories asking my followers if they would meet someone from Instagram and 97 percent said yes. So, there you go – slide into his DM’s.

You could talk to people IRL:

I don’t know if you feel this way, but I prefer it when a guy actually asks me out in person. Like some people don’t consider the first time you meet someone from Bumble a date. They call it a “hangout.” It’s all very confusing.

You could take a break:

Your soulmate is probably off in Ibeza or reading in the park. Summer is the perfect time to enjoy rooftops, cross things off your bucket list, enjoy vacay, and maybe do something other than focus on relationships. I’m kindof in this zone and have been for a few months. I’ve been focusing on other things besides dating, and quite honestly, I’m really happy. I’ve been meeting up with old friends, excelling at work, and enjoying rooftops and patios.

Conclusion:

You can take a few months or weeks off. It’s weird because dating seems like a daily chore and it doesn’t have to be. If you need to take a summer break, do it. But, if you want to cuddle with someone on a rooftop or be romantic at movies in the park (which you should seriously do), then by all means, keep swiping, keep smiling – and remember, have fun! Dating should be fun and enjoyable though sometimes he can be flakier than a croissant. If you’re not having fun with someone and enjoy talking to them – then move on.

 

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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How We Wish Men Answered Our Bumble Messages

Saying “Hi” and “Hey” on Bumble (Tinder, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, Hinge, etc.) is one of the worst ways to start a conversation. Just kidding we all do it. I mean sometimes swiping is like liking photos on Instagram – it could be more muscle memory than interest. Sorry, not sorry. And that shirtless, distant photo of you with the empty profile to match isn’t really telling us if you’re a bot or a boy.

Do You Want to Hook-Up?

But some of us girls have taken a different approach – a no B.S. approach if you will. Basically, we need to know if you are you a f*ck boy or if you’re looking for something more serious. I mean we all want a cuddle buddy and a dinner date every now and again but let me put it this way – is what you’re offering the $3 wine at Trader Joes or an aged Merlot from the wine shop?

We ask the questions. I know, men have said it sounds like an interrogation. But, it’s really just because you didn’t fill out your profile and I need to see more than a shirtless pic to go out with you.

So, what is it that us girls really want to hear when we message Mr. Hedge Fund on Bumble?

Everything a Girl Wants to Hear on Bumble:

What are you looking for?

A relationship (Marriage/commitment/don’t like other girl’s Instagram pics).

 

(Ok this is tricky. There’s a guy on Reddit who says he uses the line “meeting new people and seeing what happens,” but he always gets unmatched. Most guys answer the question a few different ways. I get that we both don’t know each other. So, honestly, we might just be friends or hookup or have a relationship. When I say I’m looking for a relationship – it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be with you – that’s just my intention.).

Do you Netflix and Chill?

I don’t know what Netflix is.

How tall are you?

6 ft something. (Other versions i.e. tall enough to lift you off your feet really just tells us you’re hiding something).

When was your last relationship?

2 years ago. (Anything along the lines of just got out of a relationship = rebound).

Do you think this will go anywhere?

It could if you join me for dinner at 8 on Friday night.

Conclusion:

Ever since recording my relationship podcast, Ok Cool, I’ve become obsessed with a few dating coaches/relationship experts. My absolute favorite dating coach is Matthew Hussey – let’s just say he has a monthly column in Cosmopolitan magazine and wrote the New York Times Bestseller “Get The Guy.”  He has a few tips on how to respond to men on dating apps/texting and how to get a relationship. P.S. He just got into a relationship a few days before Valentine’s Day. So, good things come to those who wait. Idk. Happy swiping.

 

 

 

 

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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I Don’t Know What to Call This Relationship But He Feels Like My Husband

I don’t know what to call this relationships, but he feels like my husband. I feel like we’re married. We’re not even in a relationship. We’re just friends who call each other almost every day – sometimes once a week. He knows what I’m making for dinner. I tell him I’m throwing a Ramen dinner party and he tells me, “That has a lot of carbs.” He knows how I feel about my ex. How many guys have tried to hook up with me. He sends me book recommendations. He sends me presents – that the mail person never delivers.

We talk about our dreams and our fears. He FaceTimes me, and I say “hello” to his father.

This has been going on for awhile.

And, it feels like he’s my husband – or what I imagine my husband to be like. Well, I hope my husband is in the same room as me – but he never is. Other than that, there’s a raw honesty in our conversations.

We’ve met and hung out, but it isn’t the same as our phone conversations, which usually happen at off hours after a run or a date.

We’ve had breaks. I’ve traveled and he’s traveled. We stopped talking for months – but when we start talking together – I don’t know how to describe it.

I feel like this is all I’m going to get in life – a virtual connection. No one to hug and kiss me after a long day. No one to make dinner with or travel with. And I can’t write that this is settling. We don’t even think of each other romantically – and have never slept together. But we both love each other and want the best for each other.

Seriously – what is this? I can’t say that we’re just friends. Because he’s so much more than a friend to me.

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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A New England Taste for Chicago Restaurant Week at Oyster Bah

For this Chicago Restaurant Week – we took a trip – with our forks – to New England for some fresh seafood and nautical ambiance.

This week is what some people call “better than Christmas.” It’s Chicago Restaurant Week from January 26 – February 8, 2018. Chicago Restaurant Week is a dream for Chicago foodies because you get to eat a fixed price menu at some of the hottest and finest Chicago restaurants.

A few bloggers and I got together for a tasting at Oyster Bah (1962 N. Halsted) in Lincoln Park to catch up and eat some fresh seafood.

The food was good. The ambience was perfect. And the company made the experience.

Dig in at Oyster Bah:

Since I know you want to – let’s just dig in. I do really think that you bond over meals. While I love good sauces, fresh seafood, and a savory meal – time flew because of the conversations.

We did Oyster shots together and split a lobster roll. I loved how zesty and fresh everything was! Seriously, get the lobster roll and save room for the mussels!

Restaurant Week is a Great Way to Meetup with Friends and Talk About Your Projects:

Best of all, because we met up during the launch of my relationship podcast, Ok Cool, we started talking about our dating lives. Some of the Chicago bloggers shared our worst dating stories from Match and other places. P.S. I don’t really like Match – it took three months, and I only met up with one person.

My favorite story was about how a guy went to the bathroom during the dinner date and didn’t come back! My friend was left with the bill and oddly, his coat which he left behind. At the end of the night, she gave his coat to a homeless guy and had a few drinks with the bartender, who saw what happened.

Restaurant week is the best way to try favorite dishes from Oyster Bah for a set price. The lunch special is $22 and dinner is $33. Reservations can be made by here.

Battle of the 90s at Split-Rail:

Next on my restaurant week list is Split-Rail because – guys – they have a battle of the 90’s – Friends vs. Seinfeld.

https://instagram.com/p/BequJGulEN1/

All photos were shot by: The Brazen Gourmand

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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Wait, You Can Use An App To Check If You Have an STD?

It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable and we never think it can happen to us. But, 20 million new STIs occur every year in America, half of those among young people aged 15–24.

What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas, that’s what one midwest doctor thought as he sat at a bar on the strip.

“We we’re sitting at a bar and saw people getting into trouble,” Dr. Segun Ishmael said while in Vegas for a conference.

This doctor wanted people to practice safe sex and during his startup ideation, he thought about putting a laptop on every bathroom in Las Vegas for people to check if they had STDs. He decided that this problem existed beyond the strip and maybe even in your average suburban neighborhood.

How Can a Doctor Diagnose Anonymous Patients Virtually?

In 2017, Dr, Segun Ishmael and his team developed and launched BeSafeMeds app in Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, Florida, and New Mexico, with plans to expand in 2018.

You don’t need insurance or a general doctor. This app is a step above WebMD.

BeSafeMeds helps sexually active people anonymously inquire about their STD symptoms and then a licensed medical professional will follow-up with a phone call. Based on the virtual appointment, the medial professional may prescribe a medication to the patient’s nearest pharmacy. This is a revolutionary way of treating common health issues such as Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.

The Rise of STDs:

The number of people with STDs is increasing. If you have 2-3 sexual partners in 6 months to a year you are at medium risk for STD’s, according to Dr. Segun Ishmael.

More than 200,000 people in the U.S. and America took a survey about their sexual health and partners, which disclosed that the average number of partners men and women have is about seven in their lifetime.

Talking about sex with your partner and being honest about your history is something we struggle with today. In a Refinery29 articleLisa Thomas, LCSW, LMFT, a sex and relationships expert reveals the stigmas behind talking about sex, “Asking can be a way to get to know somebody, but basically what you’re looking for is whether or not this person is good in bed.”

Looking back at the 2017 SuperDrug survey, men tend to overestimate and women tend to be more honest – 17.5 percent of male respondents reported claiming more partners than they’ve had, while only 8.2 percent of women did the same.

The Dating App Hookup Culture:

One of the contributing factors to the rise in STDs is dating apps that make us aware of more single and available people in as little as a 1 mile radius.

“I’m going to Seattle,” Dr. Ish explains a common scenario, “I don’t know anyone. I can use an app. If we can make dating easier with swipe left and right, [our services] are the complement to that.”

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, “Cheap Sex and the Decline of Marriage,” one of the millennial men interviewed shared that at 24 years old, “…I am not done being stupid yet. I still want to go out and have sex with a million girls.”

The 5 Groups of People Interested in Checking For STDs Online:

To test their target market and user interest, they did a proof of concept in five states and had a social media presence on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

In their proof of concept, the team discovered five key target groups that were using their online STD portal. They included the LGBT community, college students and young professionals, a significant amount of middle aged female professionals, and then people who have mobile jobs like truckers who are on the road.

Since testing out their proof of concept, the app has plans to expand to 10 states with heavier marketing promotion on college campuses and bars.

Treating STD’s: Step 1 is Awareness

There are other ways that medical professionals are trying to make it easier for people to get tested and treated for STD’s like  IWantThe Kit.org that provides free S.T.I. test kits to residents of Maryland and Washington, D.C..

It’s important to realize that as more people become sexually active and get treated, the population develops an antibiotic resistance. According to Center for Disease Control and Prevention, there are 820,000 new Gonorrhea cases every year in America and there is only one medication left that will cure it.

“The people who we treat are high-risk,” said Dr. Segun Ishmael, ” If they are low risk –  you don’t have symptoms but are concerned – then you should get tested. Planned Parenthood is great for this.”

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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