Do People Use Dating Apps in The Summer?

All of my friends are picking up their dating game and I’m actually put mine down this year. I don’t know if you’ve gotten busier or it’s just me – but I don’t have time to swipe on Tinder or Bumble. And when I do have a wifi connection – and look at the possible suitors – it seems like it’s not just me. So, what is going on with dating apps- how do we find our summer time fling or our SOS?

As always, we have options:

You can step up your profile game:

I know it’s difficult, but you could change your photos (maybe lose the scarf and winter coats), update your bio with something more of substance other than “no hookups” or “brunch, dogs, and pools”.

Or you know – you could talk first. I know, it’s hard and it’s a lot more work than waiting for the other person to tell you you’re cute. But, as long as you’re not starting out with “hey there,” I think you should be fine.

You can change where you’re swiping:

While Bumble and Tinder still seem to be the most used, as I meet more couples and single girl bosses, I’ve noticed that they are searching on Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel. And honestly, I would add social media platforms like Instagram to your list. I’ve met my best friends through Instagram, and I’m not alone. Adam Soko, one of Chicago’s top foodies, met his best friend through Instagram. I think when you appreciate someone else’s work and you inspire each other, it’s probably the beginning of a great relationship.

I did a recent poll on my Instagram stories asking my followers if they would meet someone from Instagram and 97 percent said yes. So, there you go – slide into his DM’s.

You could talk to people IRL:

I don’t know if you feel this way, but I prefer it when a guy actually asks me out in person. Like some people don’t consider the first time you meet someone from Bumble a date. They call it a “hangout.” It’s all very confusing.

You could take a break:

Your soulmate is probably off in Ibeza or reading in the park. Summer is the perfect time to enjoy rooftops, cross things off your bucket list, enjoy vacay, and maybe do something other than focus on relationships. I’m kindof in this zone and have been for a few months. I’ve been focusing on other things besides dating, and quite honestly, I’m really happy. I’ve been meeting up with old friends, excelling at work, and enjoying rooftops and patios.

Conclusion:

You can take a few months or weeks off. It’s weird because dating seems like a daily chore and it doesn’t have to be. If you need to take a summer break, do it. But, if you want to cuddle with someone on a rooftop or be romantic at movies in the park (which you should seriously do), then by all means, keep swiping, keep smiling – and remember, have fun! Dating should be fun and enjoyable though sometimes he can be flakier than a croissant. If you’re not having fun with someone and enjoy talking to them – then move on.

 

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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How We Wish Men Answered Our Bumble Messages

Saying “Hi” and “Hey” on Bumble (Tinder, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, Hinge, etc.) is one of the worst ways to start a conversation. Just kidding we all do it. I mean sometimes swiping is like liking photos on Instagram – it could be more muscle memory than interest. Sorry, not sorry. And that shirtless, distant photo of you with the empty profile to match isn’t really telling us if you’re a bot or a boy.

Do You Want to Hook-Up?

But some of us girls have taken a different approach – a no B.S. approach if you will. Basically, we need to know if you are you a f*ck boy or if you’re looking for something more serious. I mean we all want a cuddle buddy and a dinner date every now and again but let me put it this way – is what you’re offering the $3 wine at Trader Joes or an aged Merlot from the wine shop?

We ask the questions. I know, men have said it sounds like an interrogation. But, it’s really just because you didn’t fill out your profile and I need to see more than a shirtless pic to go out with you.

So, what is it that us girls really want to hear when we message Mr. Hedge Fund on Bumble?

Everything a Girl Wants to Hear on Bumble:

What are you looking for?

A relationship (Marriage/commitment/don’t like other girl’s Instagram pics).

 

(Ok this is tricky. There’s a guy on Reddit who says he uses the line “meeting new people and seeing what happens,” but he always gets unmatched. Most guys answer the question a few different ways. I get that we both don’t know each other. So, honestly, we might just be friends or hookup or have a relationship. When I say I’m looking for a relationship – it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be with you – that’s just my intention.).

Do you Netflix and Chill?

I don’t know what Netflix is.

How tall are you?

6 ft something. (Other versions i.e. tall enough to lift you off your feet really just tells us you’re hiding something).

When was your last relationship?

2 years ago. (Anything along the lines of just got out of a relationship = rebound).

Do you think this will go anywhere?

It could if you join me for dinner at 8 on Friday night.

Conclusion:

Ever since recording my relationship podcast, Ok Cool, I’ve become obsessed with a few dating coaches/relationship experts. My absolute favorite dating coach is Matthew Hussey – let’s just say he has a monthly column in Cosmopolitan magazine and wrote the New York Times Bestseller “Get The Guy.”  He has a few tips on how to respond to men on dating apps/texting and how to get a relationship. P.S. He just got into a relationship a few days before Valentine’s Day. So, good things come to those who wait. Idk. Happy swiping.

 

 

 

 

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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The Relationship App Every Successful City Girl Needs

It’s not every day that women admit that they need help.

But cocktails with the girls usually turns to talking about men, and we all know the casual questions that lead to excessive Tequila shots later.

Who are you seeing?

What dating app are you on?

I wish this was cliché, but in my first night out this weekend, it was true for both my Saturday night chatter at the J. Parker  with friends and during a Sunday media brunch at Osteria La Madia.

Successful Women with Dating Problems:

We all have a life or are “working on ourselves.”

We are doing yoga, our jobs are better than average and so is our skin at this age. But why is it that we are always mentioning Brad from next door or sharing Bumble profiles and Tinder dating stories over our mimosas?

Well someone decided to do something about these routine conversations—make a relationship app at 1871, Chicago’s tech mecca.

LUV TALK Co-Founder, Gwen Washington, a thirty-something Chicago city girl with a background in counseling, has pulled together a team of fashion stylists, therapists, and (divorce) lawyers, or as she likes to call them “gurus,” to answer love’s toughest questions.

The gurus specialize in various age to help with relationships and life tips. The relationship app will allow a private mini session with the guru to ask anything you want.

Who Do You Go To For Relationship Advice?

So, who do you go to for dating advice?

“People laugh and say, ‘Google,'” says Washington, who found herself helping her friends with relationship advice.

“There’s a lot of ways to meet people, but when you meet them, what do you do?” Washington asks.

Every girl knows this dilemma. I was talking with a new guy once and my friend looked over at my messages.

“You sound too direct.”

“Be flirtatious.”

“Wait a few minutes to respond.”

“Are you wearing that on your date? Let me help you.”

I found myself not knowing I needed help, when I did.

In the dating world, saying what you want when you want to and just being you, doesn’t really work. It’s not playing games, it’s just dating.

“Women need relationship advice more than men, ” said Washington,”I think the most important thing in finding the one is [to] find someone that makes your life better and you can’t imagine being without.”

Developing a Relationship App: The Details:

LUV TALK is Washington’s first app.

And like most Chicago app developers, she found a void and is seeking to fill it.

To do this, Washington put together a diverse app team not only ethically, but also in terms of their relationship status, to help her build the LUV TALK relationship app.

The LUV TALK team will be moving into 1871 this spring to develop the app for a summer launch.

It will originally target single women or those in relationships in Chicago and then move into larger markets.

But, her team isn’t the only place that she is gaining insights and data for the relationship app.

She has also partnered with a friend’s meetup group in Chicago to gain insight from focus groups.

Calling All Single City Ladies:

Currently in the data research stage, Washington’s app idea, LUV TALK, is available in the desktop version for Chicago single women to start asking questions on forums.

If you want to be more involved, Washington is holding a LUV TALK Ladies Event over bottles of wine at Tango Sur (3763 Southport Ave.) in Lakeview on Saturday, March 19, 2016. You can RSVP directly on Facebook or by emailing: recommended-gwen@myluvtalk.com

LUV TALK Relationship App Launch Party:

Washington’s app will be available later this summer on Saturday, June 11, 2016,  at a launch party at the Public Hotel. For ticket information for the LUV TALK app launch party, click here.

 

 

 

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The Tall Part of Tall, Dark, and Handsome

We’ve all been there—we wore those 6 inch heels that made your date of the night look more like a dwarf than a prince. You know who I am talking about. All of those men of average height and below. Mr. 5’11”.

To clarify, the expression “taller than me” does not translate “physically taller than me”. An inch—two inches—doesn’t qualify. Though, every girl is different. And, there are exceptions to every rule.

The sad part is, when online dating, men angle the camera so that they appear to be taller. Some are honest and admit that they are shorter than you, but they think a tall girl  is “so sexy” (smiley face).

First of all, drop the emoji. Why are men using emojis more than woman?

And secondly, as a tall woman, I don’t think it’s cool to be taller than you (ladies, weigh in). This is coming from a girl who wore heels everywhere.

But this summer, I traded in my heels for flats. And quite honestly, I still feel uncomfortable wearing flats around you. And, I hate that you envision me in heels.

Tall Girls and Short Guys: A Word

I was born tall. I like heels. And I like a man that can keep up with the height. I know, it’s the one thing that you cannot change about you, but it’s the one thing that I cannot change about me.

There are some things I need from a man. One of those things being, when we sit next to each other, you don’t resemble the throw pillow.

Granted, there are tiny girls out there, I am just not one of them. So, a word, Mr. 5’11”, please be considerate and don’t talk to me if you aren’t on my level.

Find Tall Men Here

P.S. In doing research for next week’s article I found this for all of my fellow women with model height out there. P.S.S. I haven’t used the site, but it does indicate that you can find tall men there.

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Please Don’t Look at Me Like a Product

I see you eyeing me—looking at me like a product on the shelf. You were excited to see something shiny and new. You couldn’t find a price for me, but you knew you wanted to do more than just look. You wanted to touch. You had to touch.

Shopping Around:

So, you put me in your cart. I accepted the offer to ride around the store with you. We are having a good time and then it begins. You start paying attention to my competition. You wonder if you want to go through with checking me out. You find a price scanner. You read my asking price and think that maybe the price I am asking is too much for what you want. You can’t wait to play with me and think the wait and the time it takes to learn the product is too much to ask.

Return Policy:

You look for the return policy. You are interested in taking me for a spin for awhile and seeing how much pleasure you can get from me before you have to send me back. You know that actually committing to a product is too much to ask. You don’t understand the concept, “if you break it, you buy it.”

If that happens, you hide me in a shelf for the store employees to find later to either mark down or deem “damaged.” After all, you are still open to other options. You haven’t decided if you actually want me yet. Different brands, prices, conditions are looking better.

Features and Benefits:

The packaging displays my features and benefits—but you have no real interest. You will never fully appreciate me and all of my features because to you I only serve one purpose.

If I were excel, you wouldn’t know that I could create pivot tables, categorize your columns, and auto sum cells with one click. If I were a smart phone you would just use me for phone calls. Figuring out how to purchase apps doesn’t interest you. To you, I only have one function that you are interested in.

Because you don’t explore me, I feel like you take me for granted. You don’t understand my full potential and you will never appreciate me the way I want you to.

Handle with Care:

I have labels. If you dared to read the manual you would know what you were getting yourself into. However, you only want to see what you can get out of me, not what I can offer if you simply handle with care. Doing things the proper way takes too much effort and is not as fun.

Generic:

I am more expensive because you usually get the generic brand or the lowest quality. While something original can be copied and made to appear generic, something generic can not be made original. I am original. I am the Mona Lisa of this product.

Complete Satisfaction Guaranteed:

I don’t want to put you through the hassle of returning me.  I am not a toy and I am too mature for your age group. Please proceed to the next aisle because I cannot guarantee complete satisfaction or your money back.

Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.

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