Saying “Hi” and “Hey” on Bumble (Tinder, OkCupid, Match, eHarmony, Hinge, etc.) is one of the worst ways to start a conversation. Just kidding we all do it. I mean sometimes swiping is like liking photos on Instagram – it could be more muscle memory than interest. Sorry, not sorry. And that shirtless, distant photo of you with the empty profile to match isn’t really telling us if you’re a bot or a boy.
Do You Want to Hook-Up?
But some of us girls have taken a different approach – a no B.S. approach if you will. Basically, we need to know if you are you a f*ck boy or if you’re looking for something more serious. I mean we all want a cuddle buddy and a dinner date every now and again but let me put it this way – is what you’re offering the $3 wine at Trader Joes or an aged Merlot from the wine shop?
We ask the questions. I know, men have said it sounds like an interrogation. But, it’s really just because you didn’t fill out your profile and I need to see more than a shirtless pic to go out with you.
So, what is it that us girls really want to hear when we message Mr. Hedge Fund on Bumble?
Everything a Girl Wants to Hear on Bumble:
What are you looking for?
A relationship (Marriage/commitment/don’t like other girl’s Instagram pics).
(Ok this is tricky. There’s a guy on Reddit who says he uses the line “meeting new people and seeing what happens,” but he always gets unmatched. Most guys answer the question a few different ways. I get that we both don’t know each other. So, honestly, we might just be friends or hookup or have a relationship. When I say I’m looking for a relationship – it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be with you – that’s just my intention.).
Do you Netflix and Chill?
I don’t know what Netflix is.
How tall are you?
6 ft something. (Other versions i.e. tall enough to lift you off your feet really just tells us you’re hiding something).
When was your last relationship?
2 years ago. (Anything along the lines of just got out of a relationship = rebound).
Do you think this will go anywhere?
It could if you join me for dinner at 8 on Friday night.
Ever since recording my relationship podcast, Ok Cool, I’ve become obsessed with a few dating coaches/relationship experts. My absolute favorite dating coach is Matthew Hussey – let’s just say he has a monthly column in Cosmopolitan magazine and wrote the New York Times Bestseller “Get The Guy.” He has a few tips on how to respond to men on dating apps/texting and how to get a relationship. P.S. He just got into a relationship a few days before Valentine’s Day. So, good things come to those who wait. Idk. Happy swiping.
Amanda Elliott is a writer and speaker and a relationship builder. She believes that meeting people in person is important. After attending numerous fashion, startup, and creative events, she founded Windy City Cosmo is 2015 to help people make connections in the city as they build their businesses, start and end relationships and see and be seen. Over the past three years, the entrepreneurs she’s interviewed have become the most successful in Chicago and Windy City Cosmo won an award in 2017 for her work for female entrepreneurs.